Pundits predict Wisconsin recall election results

Hope you had a great Easter. I did, even though Phil did not Master Augusta.

Okay, last Tuesday’s elections were just for exercise. Now, it is The Day After the Big One. It is Wednesday, June 6 (A day that will LIVE … in infamy!) The day after the gubernatorial and state Senate recall elections.

Who just won? And, more important, what will the reaction be on the winning/losing sides? What will Madison be like the day and week after? Beirut? What will Wisconsin be like? Will the Tea Party go into their bunkers? Will Comrade John Nichols be dumbstruck, at an unaccustomed loss for words? Fighting Ed Garvey pop an eyeball? Will the Solidarity Singers go flat? Segway Jeremy get a flat? Dale Schultz turn Republican?

Through a generous grant from the Koch Brothers, live on FoxCam, the Blaska Policy Research Center and Herpetarium asked these foremost thinkers, soothsayers, pundits, and passersby for their predictions.

James Wigderson, Wigderson’s Library & Pub:

I predict Walker and Kleefisch both win by 0.4%. In a replay of her performance in 2006, Falk will delay conceding victory for two weeks. Unlike 2006, Falk will then demand a Kloppenburg-style recount. Madison will make Florida 2000 look like spring break in Fairbanks, Alaska. Chief Tubbs will be seen yelling from the top floor of the rotunda, "I've got beads for the protesters!" News agencies will have a hard time finding publishable pictures that put the protesters in a positive light.

Having lost the primary earlier, Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett will show up at the Capitol in flowing robes, entourage of 12 in tow, telling the protesters and union members that he forgives them. Jeff Fleming will issue a press release announcing that Barrett's gubernatorial ambitions will rise from the dead in 2014.

Chris Rickert, Wisconsin State Journal:

Without a stronger Democratic candidate for governor, Walker and Kleefisch win, but three out of the four GOP senators lose. Fitzgerald should win.

Ann of Althouse:

Walker has won by a wide margin, and his antagonists fall silent. Walker has a new mandate, and they can no longer argue that he's doing things he didn't say he would. They realize what they did was give the people the opportunity to express appreciation for the man who endured a year of noisy denunciations. Scott Walker, modest and humble, gets back to work.

Vicki McKenna, Up Front talk radio host:

Gov. Walker will win with 51.5% of the vote. Mike Tate will falsely accuse Waukesha County election officials of stuffing ballot boxes and demand a recount. Occupiers will contemplate suicide on the first bong hit, but eventually will get too stoned to do anything except eat a bag of Doritos. Kittens will cry. Death threats will ensue. Cars will be keyed. But the next morning, the sun will come up and the Brewers will beat the Cubs in a night game. Same as it ever was.

Marc Eisen, essayist and former editor of Isthmus:

Who's going to win? I don't know. I will venture this: For that sliver of the electorate that is undecided, the recall won't pivot on the union issue, but on the condition of the Wisconsin economy.

Scott Walker could have a big problem here. It's not just that the job numbers were so bad in his first year, but the Republicans fumbled two key economic development issues — creation of a venture capital fund and writing viable mining legislation.

Who would have guessed they would be so inept on fundamental business issues? Walker's best hope requires a twist worthy of an O. Henry short story: Will there be enough of an Obama economic recovery to lift the floundering Badger economy?

As for the Democrats, their chances of beating Walker will almost certainly decline once they pick a candidate. Their leading hopefuls are palookas — the scarred losers of previous statewide races.

Perhaps party chair Mike Tate can persuade the Democratic candidate to put a brown paper bag over his or her head. It could help. If Herb Kohl miraculously changes his mind and runs, game over. 

The wild card is the John Doe probe. All hell breaks lose if Walker is indicted for the shenanigans that occurred while he was Milwaukee County executive.

What the Democrats need — and probably won't get — is a business-savvy candidate like Kohl who understands the utter centrality of growing the Wisconsin economy. Bar none, there is no more important issue in Wisconsin today. …

Given the chaos of Wisconsin politics, I don't rule out an intervention by space aliens.

Orville Seymer, Citizens For Responsible Government Network:

June 6, 2012, D-Day, will be the start and not the end of the Democrats’ war effort against Scott Walker and the Republican-controlled legislature.

On the eastern front, Gen. Tom Barrett will have lost for the third time. (He will blame it on his police radios not working and his lack of communication throughout the state.)

On the western front, Gen. Kathleen Falk and Col. Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Col. Mary Bell of WEAC will attempt a direct frontal assault on Walker, which is doomed to fail because the teachers union will say that it's not really that bad under Walker.

Tea Party patriots will attempt to parachute into both Madison and Milwaukee from the far reaches of the state. Unfortunately, they will be late because they forgot to make flight reservations so that they could be there on June 5 in time for the fight. Most said that they were studying the Constitution or attending a briefing and they did not have much time for this effort.

The AFSCME Union led by Marty Beil and Rich Abelson will don orange T-shirts while they march in front of Walker's Wauwatosa home the day after the election has been lost and attempt to take Walker and his entire family hostage while they scream "Shame, Shame, Shame.”

Both Mark Miller and Peter Barca will rendezvous at the Capitol in Madison while they scream from the top of their lungs, "It's not fair, Voter ID killed all of our troops.”

Peace will not return to the Capitol for at least 10 years when Tommy Thompson and Jim Doyle, who will both be in their 80s, decide to bury the hatchet.

Ben Manski, progressive social activist and candidate:

Wisconsin 2. Koch Brothers 0.

Kevin Binversie, Lakeshore Laments:

Who wins? Walker survives, as does Kleefisch, Fitzgerald, Wanggaard. It's close for Moulton, but I think he loses, and GOP holds the Galloway seat.

What is Madison like on June 6? The burning and looting around both the State Capitol and university are finally under control as the sun rises over the Isthmus.

What is Wisconsin like? The state finally takes a much-needed sigh of relief. People go to work and their jobs. Some grumble, most move on with their lives.

What is DPW like? Graeme Zielinski wakes up in a Milwaukee County holding cell after being arrested for assaulting a television reporter and cameraman during the stress of election night. The video of the attack goes viral on YouTube. Mike Tate is awaiting word of his fate from both Washington, D.C., and an emergency meeting called by the DPW Executive Board.

What of the Solidarity Singers? They decide to produce an album of their songs. It sells poorly outside of the offices of The Cap Times, Progressive magazine, and the Christmas gift lists of some "unbiased" WSJ reporters like Dee Hall.

Steve Prestegard, the Presteblog:

June 6? Partly cloudy and 75.

David Blaska, Squire of the Stately Manor:

I predict … that my prediction will be online soon!

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