Improvement plans for Zuccotti Park

I know Zuccotti Park, the 1/3-acre headquarters of the Occupy Wall Street demonstrators, well. As a matter of fact, I knew Zuccotti Park when it was still a Chock Full o’ Nuts coffee shop. (Date bread and cream cheese sandwiches – the best!)

I knew it as the place across the street from where I went to business school and where I met my lovely wife.

More somberly, and recently, I knew it as the site of the statue of the seated Wall Street banker known as “Double Check.” The statue is at the edge of the park directly across the street from the site of the World Trade Center, and after the attack, one of the most shocking pictures was of the statue covered in dust and debris.

Now the park is decorated with tents and other paraphernalia of new-century demonstrators. These folks have some pretty interesting signs:

I’m 84 and Mad as Hell!

You know things are messed up when Librarians start marching

This is SO not over

I’d like to consider myself one with the people – you know, unified with the 99%. I feel strongly about this in part because it seems these days the only thing I share with 1% of anyone is the affinity for strange prescription drug reactions.

I think the demonstrations have been pretty quirky, even fun, so far. But these 99% folks don’t speak for me. Not yet.

There are things that just need to be said. And in the spirit of lifting the animal sprits just a little, here are some tongue-in-cheek signs I’d like to see:

1. Pick up after your dog$

2. My HOCKEY player can beat up your HONOR student

3. I thought you turned off the stove

4. End leg cramps!

5. Who ordered the turkey wrap no mayo?

6. Brain food is hard to digest

7. Is “anal retentive” hyphenated?

8. No more outlet malls if that’s OK with you

9. Greek is Good

And last but not least:

10. Park’s closed. Moose out front should have told you.

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