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What are your holiday wishes for public figures?

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From the pages of In Business magazine.

Welcome to "Political Posturing," featuring opposing views on current issues important to Wisconsin's business community. In this column, Wisconsin Business Alliance Board President Brad Werntz and conservative columnist David Blaska offer their opinions from the left and the right, respectively.

Enjoy these tongue-in-cheek stocking stuffers.

The holidays have crept up on me again — big time. Little wonder, since over the last five years Wisconsin legislators have done their best to turn our state into a Dickens novel. The holidays just aren’t as festive as they once were, but I’m no Scrooge. There are so many worthy people on my holiday wish list, I hardly know where to begin. Here goes:

Ben Carson: The Steve Martin classic The Man With Two Brains on Betamax.

Chris Christie: The deed to a certain bridge in New Jersey.

Carly Fiorina: A lifetime supply of red ink for her Hewlett-Packard printer.

Ted Cruz: The GOP nomination for president in 2016, with Sarah Palin as his running mate.

State Rep. Robin Vos: The GOP nomination for Wisconsin governor in 2018, with Rebecca Kleefisch as his running mate.

State Rep. Joel Kleefisch: A bag of Robin Vos’ RoJo Popcorn, unpopped.

Robin Vos’s staff at RoJo Popcorn: Full-time jobs with benefits.

State Rep. Andre Jacque: Private skating lessons with the Mad Rollin’ Dolls.

State Rep. Chris Taylor: A permanent seat ringside at Andre Jacque’s skating lessons.

Donald Trump: A good toupee to replace that dead cat he wears on his head.

Marco Rubio: A high-paying job he hates that doesn’t require his attendance. (Oh, wait …)

Jeb Bush: Scott Walker’s Unintimidated: A Governor’s Story and a Nation’s Challenge, personally inscribed “To President George Bush” without further comment.

Hillary Clinton: Scott Walker’s secret email server, which is apparently invisible to conservatives.

Bernie Sanders: Hillary Clinton’s missing emails.

Peter Barca: A gift certificate for a quail-hunting trip with former Vice President Dick Cheney (transferable).

Paul Soglin: A beer of his choice at Mad City Frites.

Paul Ryan: John Boehner’s tanning booth, complete with ashtray.

Russ Feingold: Ron Johnson running for the U.S. Senate again in 2016.

Ron Johnson: Scott Walker on payroll as his exclusive political strategist in 2016.

Scott Walker: A job in the private sector that pays “big bucks,” or just ANY job in the private sector. I’m not picky on this one. Are you?

Brad Werntz is a small business owner and the executive director of the nonpartisan Wisconsin Business Alliance, wisconsinbusinessalliance.com.


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