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Sep 30, 201612:22 PMBlaska's Bring It!

with David Blaska

Trump is victim in crazy conspiracies

(page 1 of 2)

The great thing about a conspiracy theory is that everything confirms your conspiracy theory and when it doesn’t you paint that as part of the cover-up.

The big daddy of all conspiracies is Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. It got to the point that so many entities were after JFK — the Mob, the CIA, the FBI, the Secret Service, Texas oil barons, LBJ, Fidel Castro — that the assassination was less a conspiracy and more like a consensus. Everybody who was anybody was in on it.

Today’s conspiracy monger in chief is Donald Trump, the Republican Party nominee for president of the U.S. and, by all appearances, the P.R. man for supermarket tabloids. The only nut he or his acolytes have left uncracked is Hillary’s adoption of an alien baby back in the ’60s. And the little alien wasn’t exactly Mexican, either.

Trump’s whack jobs are busy this week explaining away their hero’s abysmal performance at Monday’s debate — a debate that again exposed the faux Republican as unprepared, petulant, thin-skinned, humorless, and narcissistic. Not to mention, a tax evader.

Trump himself, of course, seeds the conspiracy mongering with allegations that, somehow, his microphone had been compromised.

Mitch Henck gave valuable air time on his usually enlightening weekday morning program Uncommon Sense at 92.1 FM to one of them, a nut named Jim Fetzer.

Fetzer on Friday morning claimed that the polls showing Hillary won the debate are rigged. But he was just getting started. Hillary employs a “cleaner” — someone who cleans up a crime scene to conceal evidence or bribes officials to cover it up. Think the Harvey Keitel character in the movie Pulp Fiction. You want proof? Hillary’s cleaner was seen removing papers from her podium Monday night at Hofstra University, Fetzer claimed. No, couldn’t have been a production assistant.

Fetzer will also tell you that Hillary uses a body double, so we have no way of telling who that really was debating Donald Trump. But then again, Fetzer once reported that the Hildabeast kicked the bucket entirely. So, perhaps that was an animatron we saw up on stage. Fetzer used Mitch’s microphone (presumably not jiggered in some fashion) to argue that 9/11 was a set-up job to justify invading the Middle East. Whew! But wait, there’s more. The Supreme Court decision that validated Florida for Bush over Gore was also fixed in order to get Bush/Cheney in the White House in order to … well, you get the drift.

Not to be left out, Fetzer peddles JFK assassination conspiracies with the worst of them. (Check out Marquette professor John McAdams scholarly takedown of Fetzer, “Getting it all wrong.” The autopsy photos were doctored? Right.)

The Blaska Policy Werkes (and Tanning Salon) would not spend so much time on poor Mr. Fetzer if he weren’t fully representative of the phenomenon that portrays the billionaire Trump as a victim of the Establishment. One caller Friday morning, agreeing with Fetzer’s fevered perambulations, stated, “I wouldn’t put anything past them.”

Trump supporters are crowding Facebook’s crawl space conjuring up conspiracies for their man’s not-ready-for-primetime performance at Monday’s debate. Their consensus is that Hillary was using hand signals like a Little League coach. She scratched her nose at one point. Guessing that meant “Ask Trump about Miss Piggy.” That’s what a former candidate for state legislature claims on her Facebook page.

A rival theory, contradicting the first, is that moderator Lester Holt was wired directly into Clinton Command Central, says the misnamed Truthfeed website. “She definitely had something like a battery box up her back with wires continuing up to her neck area.”

[Added 10-3-16] Trash-talking Trump seeded the conspiracy feeding frenzy with his Obama Birther claims. When it got down to, essentially, mano a mano with Ted Cruz, Trump recycled tabloid speculation that Cruz’ old man had a hand in JFK’s killing. How many times has Trump complained about “a rigged system”? Allow me to turn G.K. Chestertown around: People who believe anything eventually believe in nothing. It is no wonder, then, that half of Trump’s supporters believe the election will be rigged, according to an AP public opinion poll.

If Donald Trump loses, the tinfoil hats will be in full dudgeon. That explains the moderator’s insistence that Trump answer whether he would support Hillary’s election, should he lose. Trump finally answered in the affirmative. Which means nothing more than any of the man’s other promises. The man will conjure some injustice, perhaps a flat tire on his motorcade, attribute that to the great Clinton conspiracy, and declare the election stolen.

That way goes the U.S.A. toward Paraguay.


Old to new | New to old
Oct 1, 2016 08:24 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

Dave, since I did not listen to Mitch Henck when he had Jim Fetzer on, I have enjoyed your take on the conspiracy theories given that morning.
But even a nut-job throwing out dozens of conspiracy theories will hit a nail on the head sometime. So the Blaska Policy Werkes gets a Barney Fife credit in dismissing Bush-Cheney-Florida-Supreme Court tragedy. Nice try Dave, but most of us actually do get the drift.

Oct 2, 2016 09:58 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

First Amendment in action: Colin Kaepernick continues to carry himself in a far more dignified manner than the Blaska crowd of boo birds. Boo! Boooo! they cry before chuckling at a Florida urinal stunt.

And they wonder how Trump became the nom? Check the mirror lately?

Oct 4, 2016 09:53 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

"So, we good Republicans are supposed to support our nominee".

Despite Blaskas protestations, he will go all in for tRump. I have Oct 23 in the pool.

Oct 4, 2016 01:07 pm
 Posted by  AnonyBob

Hey, Explat! As you like to say, "Seen Nate Silver lately?" I don't know what proportion of Trump supporters are deplorable, but HE certainly is.

Oct 4, 2016 03:52 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

Scary when I view Dave as rational. To the theorists out there. The post debate polls were rigged. Millenial hacker types (think 4chan) made a concerted effort to rig any poll that allowed multiple voting for Trump. Of course no one should believe those polls, but then there's a lot of stuff people shouldn't believe - and yet they do.

Oct 4, 2016 06:57 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

This year in politics certainly does require a HUUUUGE amount of humor and a good amount of whiskey. We all use differt methods in dealing with this insanity. Walker only talks to people that respond to his invitations. Luther Olson avoided going to investigate a VA facility because of his pie fetish which he cleverly covers up by being a tasting judge. Myself; I tried to avoid the national race and limit my attention to just state and local politics;but, I soon lost my sense of humor and my whiskey bills went sky-high. Now I spend my time standing in front of trump rallies selling my hand-made camo tin foil hats and trying to explain to the IRS that I really did lose 100 milion last year because my one part-time worker demanded time off to have a baby.

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About This Blog

Raised on a farm near Sun Prairie, David Blaska is a recovering liberal who spent 18 years in daily newspapers, including 12 at The Capital Times in Madison as a reporter and editor. He served Gov. Tommy Thompson as acting press secretary in 1998 and is a veteran and survivor of 19 years in state government. He served 12 years on the Dane County Board of Supervisors. From December 2007 to November 2011 he wrote the consistently popular "Blaska's Blog" for Isthmus online's "The Daily Page" until, he says, the intolerant liberals ran him off. He blogs from Madison.

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