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Jan 3, 201308:01 AMBlaska's Bring It!

with David Blaska

The Rose Bowl has thorns; Gabby Hayes says ‘bring on 2013’

The Rose Bowl has thorns; Gabby Hayes says ‘bring on 2013’

(page 1 of 2)

Darn, dang, heck, jiminy Christmas, shoot, dad-gummit, and consarn-it!

I want Gabby Hayes as the color man for the next Badger appearance in the Rose Bowl. “Gol-darned, dad-burned, freaky tie-wearin’, horn-swogglin’, trust-funding Stanford whipper-snappers!” 

Who can argue with that frontier gibberish? What is it about Midwest football? The Big Ten went 1-4 in bowl games. Those of us who live vicariously are stoking our BTU-deprived inferiority complexes. Maybe UW should stop scheduling all those correspondence schools. Stanford plays Notre Dame in non-conference; Wisconsin plays DeVry.com. Either that, or move the Rose Bowl to the U.P. and rename it the Shad Bowl.

Watched the Tournament of Roses Parade for the first time in years – on the Hallmark Channel, as befits a Squire in the autumn of his years. For commercial advertisements, the cable channel floats a modest-sized box on the screen, and briefly, without cutting away from the narration or all of the picture. Hadn’t seen that before. Works for me. 

Highlights:

• The Korean War float

• The various horse patrol breeds (especially the chocolate and whites)

• Parade of classic tractors. Cousin John rehabbed a 1953 John Deere 50 that I remember from the farm. Wish I had the Allis Chalmers G we used in tobacco. It was the tractor equivalent of the Morris Mini.

• The nearly naked guys from Tuvu. (See slide #26; Host Bob Eubanks said he’d be arrested if he wore something like this. Not in San Francisco, Bob.)

Highlights of last year? Two will suffice:

1) June 6, 2012. Scott Walker turns back the Angry Fisters.

2) Feb. 7, 2012 (a day that will live ... in INFAMY!): First Blaska’s Bring It! blogge. (A collector’s item!)

Will 2013 be a lucky year?

The white lab coats at the Blaska Policy Research Werkes and Tanning Salon (coupons must be redeemed by 01-07-2013) jump-started the Sperry-Rand Univac computer and came up with this forecast (accurate to +/- 15 degrees):

• Obama proposes federal bailouts for Illinois and California, blames Republicans.

• So-called “assault weapons” ban proposed but does not pass Congress.

• Instead of asking state Republicans to cooperate with minority Democrats on a mining bill, one brave mainstream news media outlet calls on one Democrat – just one, mind you – to work with majority Republicans.

• Legislature allows school districts to permit licensed staff to conceal weapons in schools.

• Some Democrats vote against income tax relief for the middle class.

• Summer is almost as hot as 2012 but not as dry.

• Dow Jones average hits 15,000.

• Brewers win division.

• Packers draft Montee Ball early in second round.

• Police Chief Noble Wray will take a job in a bigger town.

• George Hesselberg gets his column back in the State Journal.

• A government entity stakes Kaleem Caire to his charter Madison Prep Academy. Madison School Board remains under union thumb.

• Marty Beil applies for unemployment insurance.

• Paul Soglin considers, but dismisses, chance to weigh in on new schools super. (How do I prove this?)

• Liberals fail to unseat state Supreme Court Justice Patience Roggensack despite vicious smear campaign.

• Republican Legislature takes first step to make state superintendent of schools a non-elected, gubernatorial cabinet position (as it should be).

• Major employer (500+ jobs) announces move to Wisconsin.

Lincoln wins Oscar as Best Film. D-Day Lewis is best actor. The Flying Nun is best supporting actress, Al Gore’s former Harvard roommate is b-supporting actor.

• George W. Bush named next baseball commish.

• Chris Christie suffers major health issue and/or loses weight.

• Comrade John Nichols and/or Fighting Ed Garvey will fault Tammy Baldwin for insufficient progressive zeal (see next item).

• Mitt Romney adopts a Russian child, in defiance of Putin. It’s a boy.

• Tommy Thompson named next chancellor of UW-Madison.

• The Big Ten expands into El Salvador and Guatemala.

• The Radio Slymer, desperate for a gig, issues an abject apology to the Divine Miss Vicki, prays the rosary, does a novena, renounces Satan, gets job as Walmart public address announcer.

• Israel smites Iran.

• A famous person will perish. (Hey, I’ve got to increase my winning percentage.)

Old to new | New to old
Jan 4, 2013 06:49 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

Michigan State and Northwestern are both in the Big Ten David. Wisconsin plays them regularly.... for decades.... They both won bowl games.

Jan 4, 2013 06:53 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

The Shad Bowl? If you're going to quip about the U.P. - at least make some sense and show that you've been there. The Brook Trout Bowl maybe, or the Panfish Bowl. Even the Whitetail Bowl or the Ruffed Grouse Bowl would make some sense. Obviously the Yooper Bowl would be a native Yoopers preferred choice, or the Pasty Bowl. But come on David - the Shad Bowl? You're better than that....

Jan 4, 2013 07:10 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

A tax increase...... now you're playing the games of the liberal media. The restoration of the social security tax is NOT a tax increase. It is the end of a tax holiday that Obama came up with two years ago. A one year tax holiday that was allowed to extend to 2 years. I've been paying 6.2% for most of my adult life. The drop to 4.2% was a tax holiday. It expired. It's not a tax increase. There was no increase voted in. The holiday wasn't renewed. For a couple years we all had an extra $1,000 to spend. At the expense of future social secuirty benefits. Semantics David. It's what we always accuse the liberal media of. It's what we accuse the unions and the left of. Lets not play their game. Whining about 6.2% is like teachers whining about having to pay for their half of their retirment contributions. Again - you're smarter and better than that.

Jan 4, 2013 07:59 am
 Posted by  Kenneth B.

Photo of men in briefs prompts gratuitous jab at San Francisco. Auspicious way to begin the year.

Jan 4, 2013 08:41 am
 Posted by  David Blaska

Am I keeping you busy, Anonymous? I was thinking the New Years Day bowl games, where the Big Ten went 1-4; overall this post-season they are 2-5. Michigan does indeed have shad, AKA: gizzard shad. (http://nas.er.usgs.gov/queries/factsheet.aspx?SpeciesID=492) I was wanted to name my bowl game after a junk fish. Humor, anonymous. Try it some time. Also, try some mathematics. Going from a tax rate of 4.2% to 6.2% tax is an INCREASE, no matter the mechanics of its implementation or the bias of your politics.

Jan 8, 2013 08:03 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

The Pasty Bowl David..... if that's not humor, I don't know what is. For someone who makes his living on humor, cynicism and parody, you do a pretty bad job of recognizing it.
Can't wait for Michigan to drop some gizzard shad all over Wisconsin on Feb. 9.

Jan 9, 2013 09:21 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

A serious question for you David. In 2008, as part of the Economic Stimulus Act, we all (working people) received a federal tax rebate. $600 for single and $1200 for couples. When that rebate was reduced to $400 and $800 inn 2009 and 2010 and disappeared in 2011 - did you consider that a tax increase?

Jan 9, 2013 02:05 pm
 Posted by  David Blaska

Yes, of course, because it increases your taxes. Is this difficult for you?

Jan 9, 2013 02:11 pm
 Posted by  uwbiz96

The tax increase is exactly that, and a huge disappointment. I know that despite it being part of Obama's widely derided stimulus in 2010, the Republicans fought for it to go permanent and lost, right? Right? Lord Almighty, if the Republicans truly are friends of the little guy, please send a sign ensuring us that they fought for it!

Jan 12, 2013 08:07 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

It was an entitlement...

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About This Blog

Raised on a farm near Sun Prairie, David Blaska is a recovering liberal who spent 18 years in daily newspapers, including 12 at The Capital Times in Madison as a reporter and editor. He served Gov. Tommy Thompson as acting press secretary in 1998 and is a veteran and survivor of 19 years in state government. He served 12 years on the Dane County Board of Supervisors. From December 2007 to November 2011 he wrote the consistently popular "Blaska's Blog" for Isthmus online's "The Daily Page" until, he says, the intolerant liberals ran him off. He blogs from Madison.

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