Jan 14, 201306:16 AMBlaska's Bring It!
with David Blaska
Former Mayor Dave Cieslewicz must be disarmed before he kills someone!
(page 1 of 2)
If you see this man on the street, consider him armed and dangerous. And liberal!
Dave Cieslewicz is an admitted blogger, gun owner, and (worse) gun USER. He is also a suspected hypocrite. Contact the gendarmes at the Stately Manor (which has applied to the United Nations for near-statehood status) in care of this station.
Former Mayor Cheesewhiz is flying his progressive freak flag high these days on gun control. No mere closing of loopholes or limiting ammo magazines to double-digit figures. No sir! Citizen Dave is calling for the full monty: the complete confiscation of ALL handguns. All of them! He also wants banned all semi-automatic weapons. Yes, even his very own hunting rifle.
So, yes, I would outlaw my own gun. Happily. – “Gun control must be strong and simple to work.”
Not to worry. The Venerable Meade is on the case. In the comment section to Citizen Dave’s blog, Meade taunts thusly: “So, Dave, what are you waiting for? Or have you already happily turned in your own gun – the gun you want us to make illegal?”
After a study conference even more rushed than the Joe Biden Gun Task Force, the Blaska Policy Research Werkes and Tanning Salon announces this ambitious gun buy-back program:
$1 for every handgun.
$2 for every long gun.
Yes, gun control must be strong and simple to work. Also, cheap. Act now to avoid the long lines after the Biden Committee reports.
I have the Madison TV news departments and the movie newsreel people at Pathé on alert to expect Dave Cieslewicz (spelled just the way it sounds) to turn himself in to the Stately Manor with his weapons of mass destruction. After a quick pat-down (hands on the hood, feet spread apart), punch and cookies will be served.
(“He’s clean. I’ve searched a million punks like him.” – Captain McCluskey.)
We’ll all feel so much safer knowing that Mayor Dave has been disarmed. I’m certain, also, that the entire Cieslewicz family will rest easier now that the world knows Mr. C’s household on the fashionable near west side is gun-free. (Is the key under the mat?)
In his honor, the Werkes & Salon is devising a large, illuminated sign to be posted in front yards advising the neighborhood and all passersby:
You’re Safe in this House! No Guns Here.”
Certainly, former Mayor Dave’s act of noblesse oblige will inspire the South Side Carnales and other gang bangers to turn in their pieces, bringing peace to troubled neighborhoods.
Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke is blasting (so to speak) Mayor Tom Barrett for hosting a dog and pony show on the Topic du Jour in the Twin Cities. “If Mayor Barrett really wanted to curb gun violence in Milwaukee he would join me in demanding that gun offenders stop being released back into Milwaukee neighborhoods by a lenient judiciary and, instead, face longer sentences.”