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Aug 8, 201411:06 AMBlaska's Bring It!

with David Blaska

Hulsey to declare moral victory next Tuesday; heads and manure digesters explode!

(page 1 of 2)

It says here.

The white lab coats here at the Blaska Policy Werkes tried jump-starting Old Sparky, their Eisenhower-era mainframe computer, but it was no go. In desperation, they backed a Farmall Model H tractor to the big mess of wires and blinking tubes and hooked it to the power takeoff. Lit up like Elver Park on the Fourth of July, with more smoke than a Grateful Dead concert.

Sure, more recent models can be had. A company called “Apple” is said to market a model friendlier to the user. But nothing predicts election results like Old Sparky when it’s right. Here are its Tuesday, Aug. 12, partisan primary election predictions:

•  My man Brett Hulsey gets 5% of the Democratic vote for governor, declares a moral victory, finds new ways to make news.

•  Abortion advocate Lisa Subeck wins because she is more leftist than her colleague on the Madison Common Council, Mark Clear. She replaces Hulsey in the west side 78th Assembly District, as there are no Republican challengers. All four Assembly members representing Madison will be female.

•  For attorney general, Jefferson County DA Susan Happ rides her Harley-D to victory over Ismael Ozanne, district attorney in Dane County, and State Rep. Jon Richards. Happ will be a formidable opponent for Republican nominee Brad Schimel. J.B. Van Hollen is not running for re-election.

•  Millionaire Duey Stroebel emerges from a strong four-way pack in the 6th Congressional Republican primary to replace retiring Tom Petri but with less than half the vote.

•  Voters in the 17th Senate (southwest Wisconsin) rebuke Democratic Party bosses when they choose Ernie Wittwer over the handpicked, professional Madison politician Patrick Bomhack. The winner must still confront State Rep. Howard Marklein, who is well financed. Dale Schultz, who identifies as a Republican, is retiring.

•  A re-emergent Gary George gives incumbent Gwen Moore a good scare in the Milwaukee congressional primary. George would be a big improvement. Moore is an embarrassment.

•  In the new 21st district, combining rural and suburban Racine and Kenosha counties, Jonathan Steitz barely edges once-recalled incumbent Van Wangaard for virtual election as a Republican senator (although a Democrat will appear on the November ballot). But it’s close. (Old Sparky flip-flopped several times on this one.)

•  Dave Mahoney wins 95% of the vote for another deserved term as Dane County sheriff over a totally clueless opponent.

•  And, finally, Dewey Defeats Truman. (I just report what Old Sparky decides.)

Only in Wisconsin! Exploding manure digesters! Lobbyists for the Policy Werkes are asking Supervisor Ronn Ferrell to introduce a resolution at the next County Board meeting to name the exploding manure digester after its founder, The Kathleen (Falk). (Although it is privately owned and operated.)

Self-guided, interactive tours of “The Kathleen Memorial Manure Digester” in rural Waunakee would cycle through the life and times of the environmentally addicted former county executive. A life-sized animatronic of The Kathleen waves mechanically; a recorded voice greets middle-school class trips with the words “15 days since last spill; eight days since last explosion.”

Hey, manure happens.

(Continued)

Old to new | New to old
Aug 8, 2014 11:33 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

Lessons from the blog: The digester is private, but blame it on the government anyway. Better to let manure just run into the lake than do something about it, apparently. David Clarke "identifies" as a Democrat. In reality, he's to the right of Blaska. And Gwen Moore, an urban black Democrat, is an embarrassment to Blaska, a rural white conservative Republican. Will wonders never cease?

Aug 8, 2014 05:13 pm
 Posted by  Leo

It's perhaps interesting to note that there have been no explosions at any nuclear power plant in Wisconsin, but we do have exploding manure digesters now. So, will all the lefties who hate the dangers associated with nuclear power now begin pushing for the elimination of exploding manure digesters?

Aug 9, 2014 01:24 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

Yes digester is private but pushed into place by queen Falk when she was county exec with dane county tax dollars, and yes the unions are shaking when a black conservative male starts to speak coherently, that's not what their union members were suppose to teach. They are suppose to sound more like there buddy Gwen Moore that they help to get elected.

Aug 11, 2014 09:17 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

Whenever a woman is in any powerful position, she is referred to as queen, huh? Good to know.

By the way, it's "They are supposed to sound more like their..." Let me know when you begin to write coherently, would you? I guess it's hard getting spelling and grammar correct when you're parroting talk radio takes.

Aug 11, 2014 09:56 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

Dave, the 'sploding head shot is a bit graphic for my delicate sensibilities.
Leo seems to think nuclear reactors and manure digesters are equivalent. Hate to see how he fertilizes his fields. False equivalency - the conservative's favorite debating technique.
And Anony 1:24 is all too typical of Dave's fan "base." Thanks for the chuckles!
AnonyBob

Aug 11, 2014 10:22 am
 Posted by  Anonymous

While GOP voters should be crossing over to support Sheriff Clarke in the Dem primary, they may as well toss a bone to the Brett Hulsey campaign juggernaut. If for no other reason to send a Bronx cheer to (Democratic State Party hand picked) Mary Burke from the voting booth.

Gwen Moore is an embarrassment, as Wisconsin's version of Sheila Jackson Lee, who proclaimed the US Constitution is 400 years old and is under the impression we've landed a man on Mars. If you support Gwen Moore, you deserve nothing but contempt.

It's tragic the African American community can do no better than Gary George to contest Congresswoman Moore.

Aug 11, 2014 12:18 pm
 Posted by  Leo

I think Leo knows that manure digesters and nuclear reactors are not synonymous terms. One has a history now of exploding in Dane County (that would be the manure digester). The other (which would be nuclear reactors) has no history of exploding in Dane County.

And since our leftist friends seem to be committed to protecting the rest of us from calories, bad habits and exploding public works projects foisted on us by the former County Executive, it might be reasonable to assume the lefties who would like to run each and every life in Dane County would step up to the plate when it comes to protecting Dane County's great unwashed from manure digesters.

Aug 11, 2014 04:27 pm
 Posted by  patricko

Gwen Moore is an embarrassment to Shelia Jackson Lee.

Aug 12, 2014 02:14 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

I'm all for the Brett(s) both here and in Green Bay - at least they give me things to laugh about (like the righteous indignation of their opponents).

Aug 13, 2014 03:54 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

Good to see that so many of my WI neighbors are so polite when taking about people with whom they disagree.

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About This Blog

Raised on a farm near Sun Prairie, David Blaska is a recovering liberal who spent 18 years in daily newspapers, including 12 at The Capital Times in Madison as a reporter and editor. He served Gov. Tommy Thompson as acting press secretary in 1998 and is a veteran and survivor of 19 years in state government. He served 12 years on the Dane County Board of Supervisors. From December 2007 to November 2011 he wrote the consistently popular "Blaska's Blog" for Isthmus online's "The Daily Page" until, he says, the intolerant liberals ran him off. He blogs from Madison.

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