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Left Business Brain
with Tom Breuer
October 2012
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10/30/122 reasons why Mitt Romney’s business experience means squat1. Herbert Hoover. 2. George W. Bush. You didn’t think I’d bury the lead, did you? Now, I suppose I could have ended this blog post right there. Maybe link Hoover’s name to a picture of hobos lining up for soup and bread and Bush’s to a video of Charles Koch’s Croatian manservant beating an orphan to death with an ivory serving spoon manufactured overseas by somewhat less fortunate orphans. (Oh, you know that exists somewhere.) But it’s more fun – and more irritating to Republicans – to pile on. Posted at 09:27 AM | Permalink | Comments: 2 |
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10/23/12Romney on the warpath?It was probably the best headline in the history of The Onion, considering its clever mix of outrageous satire and real-world angst. Coming on the heels of George W. Bush’s inauguration, the paper’s main headline blared, “Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over.’” |
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10/15/12The 7 most weirdly out-of-touch Romney/Ryan quotesOther than that famous 47% comment, of course. Indeed, in the vice presidential debate on Thursday, Joe Biden did what President Obama was either too genteel or too sleepy to do: He took Mitt Romney to task over that infamous unguarded moment in which the GOP nom basically called half the country parasites. For his part, Paul Ryan countered that Romney cares about 100% of the country. And he’s probably right. Hey, if I had a tapeworm, I’d be concerned about it too. |
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10/08/12Mitt Romney’s childish, churlish economic planMany voters remain mystified by Barack Obama’s oddly disconnected performance during last week’s presidential debate, but the real mystery is what solar system Mitt Romney is from and what his plans really are for the strange, primitive ape-men currently infesting this fertile, mineral-rich planet. |
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10/03/12Two Truths and a Fox NewsOne of my favorite days at In Business HQ (and it’s a madcap, Great Gatsby-worthy saturnalia at least thrice a fortnight on these premises) was when we played Two Truths and a Lie as part of a team-building exercise. It’s a fun diversion that allows participants to discover facts about their friends and coworkers that they might never otherwise know. For instance, my two truths and a lie might be, “I was the salutatorian of my high school class,” “I once spurned an invitation from funnyman Rip Taylor to meet with him following a theatrical performance in Green Bay,” and “I have not thrown up since the ’80s.” Then you have to guess which one is the lie. |
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10/01/12Five more reasons Mitt Romney (and Paul Ryan) will lose WisconsinBack in June, I wrote a blog post titled “Five reasons why Mitt Romney will lose Wisconsin.” Of course, this was before Romney named Paul Ryan as his running mate, putting our state back in play and forcing me into a shame spiral unlike any I’ve experienced since I cashed out my 401(k) to invest in Pets.com and a thoroughbred race horse that turned out to be a lame, partially blind insurance actuary named Mr. Bojangles. |
Tom Breuer, IB Web editor, has spent much of his life trying to explain his leftward leanings – sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing. He's used to being surrounded and ganged up on, so he welcomes comments from conservatives. He is the co-author of three political humor books, including Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly.
